From a Father and a Teacher to his child and his students

Being a Parent!

If you have never experienced the feeling of being hated by your child… you have never been a parent...

We as parents think that only our children grow... we seem to forget that we grow too... I have always believed that I cannot tell my son to reach for the sky... I can only try to reach my Son...

Sometimes I feel, I should have spent more time building my daughters self-esteem, then building my business..

I wish I’d let her curl her hand around my fingers then wasting my time pointing fingers at her

I wish I’d commented less and connected to her more often

I wish I’d told her more often “I Love you. When she returned home after curfew hours , then stared angrily at the watch”

I wish I had serious fun with her , then just being serious

I wish I’d done more hugging and less nagging..

Good Education: 

If you are looking to improve your standard of living by way of education, there is no way it will improve your quality of life…

But of you are looking to improve your quality of life, it’s the sure shot way of improving your  standard of living! That is what good education should be about...

A student once told his teacher:

Tell me and I am sure to forget.

Show me and I am sure to remember.

Involve me and I am going to understand.

A fleeting moment of weakness

A fleeting moment of weakness

A moment once met a story.

The story smiled and said I was once you Mr “Moment”!

Mr.  Moment said, you gave me a meaning.

A definition and the memory of a life time.

The story said, I wish you had not come …

In your coming, there is a death of possibilities

And definiteness of events..

I wish you had not come…

But the Mr. Moment said, you would not exist if I did not come..

You would not have many glories to share, many wisdoms to offer..

Nor the experience of a gentle hand kissing your hand,

The falling of a leave and the fragrance of a flower

The gentleness of a hand held forever..

Would this all have happened ?

If it were not for me??..

The story said, I also have a million stories of hurt  and sadness you brought

The humiliation of many

Who worked hard selflessly

Who gave their lives for a cause

And in one moment of decisiveness ,  sent off in exile..

Do you understand the pain of a man?

Lonely, unloved and hated?

The anguish and the humiliation?

In an unknown country

Unknown faces

Lonely in a dark, cold room?

The smiles on those who felt victory engulf them for a man vanquished…

And in a moment of sadness

You came like a thunderbolt

He could share his pain with no one

He swallowed his pride

Felt weak and small and inadequate…

The thunderbolt turned in to a moment of complete silence

And he died…he is no more..

I wish, you had not come in all your fury

And let the man live

A moment converted into a story!


The moment turned around and said
As if its in my hands!

Parag Shah.

July 4^th 2011. 5.04 a,m

Rome... The Beautiful City

We reached Rome on a sultry hot afternoon... As bad as the Mumbai weather! We were received by our Taxi Driver, who promptly arranged our Apartment keys. Language is an issue. Traffic is a sophisticated version of the Pune Traffic. People will suddenly turn their cars around and the traffic police watch completely disinterested and the tourists bemused and frightened.

We met our guide next morning. My briefing to her was clear. I am not on a whirl wind tour of Rome. Show me something in detail. I know I cannot see Rome in 5 days. So show me a few things, but I am interested in the history and the culture of this great civilisation.

What we went through, was back breaking, walking in heat, sweating but well worth every minute. The few places that interested me the most were the Pantheon, the Colosseum and the Vatican.

Small things like the Greek God who eats your hand from the movie "Roman Holiday”, brought back memories of my first crush... Audrey Hepburn! I was so besotted by her eyes that I could barely sleep for the next 7 days as a 15 year old!

And the Chariot Race from the movie Ben Hur was a sight to see. But at the end of all the beautiful buildings, architecture, stories and culture, I have a few observations...

The Romans thrived on two things, war and slavery. Everybody was a soldier, who wanted land and expand the kingdom so that he could make slaves out of those whose lands he captured.  This ecosystem of war and slavery lasted for about 700 years! I cannot imagine any other civilisation lasting this long on a system of sheer violence and subjugation... How can one be proud of great buildings built on the sheer violence, slavery, subjugation and sheer helplessness of human existence?

At the same time, in India, we had the clear demarcation of the Bramhin, Kshatriya, Vaishya and Shudra. A system that had many pitfalls but at least did not rely too much on violence. The tension between Religion and the Monarchy has existed in both the systems, but the tension did not give rise to the kind of violence this civilisation has seen... there is loot and plundering all over. Roman temples converted into Churches... The beautiful frescos transferred from one temple to another church...everything seems to have been used and reused to make the current King or Pope look more powerful than ever... I wonder how civilisations have evolved so much intellectually... they were then, perhaps much better as Artists, Artisans, Philosophers and Strategists...but as human beings, I would hate to be born at that time.

The second thing that struck me about the Romans is that they are almost defensively proud of who they are...they don’t know whether they are Romans, then Roman Catholics or Italians now. Each identity is deeper than the other. The conflicting identities seem to make them an angry lot.  But the pride of their cities Architecture and buildings masks their own guilt and anger of people being subjugated by the powerful. The fear of the Global meltdown seems to have scared them. The Guide told me her husband has received no raise in the last 3 years. Just about 10Euros a month. Conversion of the Lira to Euro has doubled their cost of living and halved their incomes owing to a severe drop in traffic from USA and Japan. Most of their tourists are from France and Spain. That would be food for thought for the Economists! The Guide also said, the French used to come for 7 days , now they come for 4 days...the Americans have disappeared and the Japanese don’t come anymore...I asked her, what is the largest group she has handled and she said 92 and I asked which country... Apna India of course!

Finally, the walk down the corridors of the place where Caesar was murdered by Brutus and the story of Mark Anthony and the King Augustus is interesting. I could almost hear the echo of the words "Brutus et tu?" The Roman Empire began as a city, went on to become a republic and finally an empire. I think Christianity began to take roots once Nero plundered and blundered...

As a final observation, I think civilisations are like a fountain and ripples. At the centre of the civilisation is the fountainhead of its Art, Culture and Architecture. The Buildings are at their best at its centre. It is also the physically the lowest point. As the civilisation spreads, its buildings at the periphery are less grand and at a lesser depth...

Leonardo hated painting, but the Vatican ordered him to paint , and his work is almost like paintings that look like sculptures... 

The ripple effect is that the culture and art at its height produce the most beautiful ripples, like the renaissance period did.. But its impact at the last wave is low and it has to wait until the next ripple happens...takes maybe 400 to 500 years...wonder where we are at this point in our civilisation...

Off to Florence tomorrow...

Visiting Salzburg

We flew down from Mumbai to Munich, thinking that we are visiting the city of Sound of Music. When I went on the net, I thought I am going to see a city which is at the edge of a paradise. I also was deeply interested in knowing about the city in which Mozart was born. To me the deep connection between history, culture and identity of individuals always plays an important role.

The Lufthansa staff lived up to its expectations. Cold, curt and inhospitable. As usual I lost my glasses and requested the stewardess to help. She tells me "I am sure we didn't take it!" sometimes I wonder whether we see hostility in others as a society that has been subjugated too long or are we really treated like this ? Or is this really about Indians? Would A Indian treat another white man the same way? I don’t know. Most Airlines have Hindi announcements, the Business class is mostly occupied by Indians and the Economy class is mostly occupied by whites. Does that make them dislike us even more? I really have no clue. But I do sense a mixture of hostility, fear and awe for Indians. Most of it is media created I think.

Moving on, we were in a beautiful lane in Salzburg. In fact the oldest in Salzburg. As old as the city is. Very narrow...which meant we had to carry our bags to our Apartment. Hafez, our Pakistani Taxi driver would not let me touch the bags; he took mercy on a poor fat Indian!

Typically Medieval and tight with paved stones and a climb. We were comfortable in a little apartment in the heart of Salzburg. We decided to stay in an Apartment because I was taught the virtues of being in an apartment by my dear friend Eugene and Kathleen. You almost become a citizen of the place once you start living in an apartment. You begin to understand the nuances of their lifestyles... like the electrical connections...the grocery shopping...the food habits...the floors and the walls, the colours of the walls everything starts making sense to you and slowly the culture of that place starts becoming a part of you , yet you have the travellers objectivity to look at things...

We went to a musical show called the "Sound of Salzburg"... it had live songs from "The Sound of Music", local folk songs...it was a unique theatre. You had to reach there at 7.30 if you wanted dinner. We didn’t, for obvious vegetarian reasons! And if you don’t eat, you reach there at 8 and they start the show at 8.30. The audience was a group of about 150 people. People from almost every continent. Asians, Americans, Australians, and Africans and of course Europeans... The show had so much love and life and joy and celebrations... we seem to only enjoy in our private occasions in India. A marriage or a birthday... but how many of us can actually go to a show, enjoy the local folk music, dance and sing with the singers?

My business instincts tell me, that if someone picked up this idea, about doing a theatrical show with a of say "Bahina Bai”, a great folk poetess who wrote poetry as she would grind her grains, it would be fabulous... maybe Prasad should consider doing this as an incubation project at FLAME?

And then Mozart. Everyone knows everything about Mozart. But there was one striking thing about the Guide and the people we spoke to about Mozart. They did not go overboard in glorifying him. In fact they seemed a little understated about his genius, but every little detail of his life, every letter , every symphony , his notes, his love, his house, even his shoes and potty are all kept like a national treasure! And I just heard we lost Gandhijis spectacles!

.... More later... too much to say...

I am here on a journey of self-discovery. The journey of self-discovery, I realize needs 3 major components... complete anonymity, not a soul should recognize you...second it needs solitude , a space and a time for reflection, finally a sense of hamrony with who you are. The first 2 are quite easy on a forgeign land.. but the 3rd one tkaes a bit of time... I hope I find it soon!

PG Conovcation Address 7th May 2011

A million years ago, there was a land. It was a land of learning. Many great sages stayed here to meditate. The land was only meant for learning, meeting, being joyous and being happy. The land had magic. It just needed the right people to come there and learn, and teach and breathe and rejoice! For a million years, the land waited. It waited for the right people to come in its arms and embrace the joys of learning and being happy. You young ladies and gentlemen were the people the land waited for a million years. This is FLAME. The Land of learning. Do you remember this statement? This was my welcome remark to all of you when you entered FLAME on the oath taking day on July 28th 2009.
But today is another day. You will walk out with pride, honor, and dignity.
Graduation is one of life’s important thresholds. This threshold also provides you the opportunity to reflect on the time you've spent in the school you're leaving, the events that have occurred while you studied here, and the people that have left an imprint on you in one way or another. You come to realize that you have deeper roots than you thought.
At FLAME chief guest sir, we have always said we prepare graduates not just for their first jobs, but also for a life time. We are not in the business of just providing education, but primarily in the business of shaping character.
Chief Guest sir, I would now like to make my reflections on the FLAME experiment and its role in the Education space.
My first reflection is that the goal of the current educational system is to reduce ambiguity. Somehow, I find that both, the students and their educators, are generally uncomfortable when faced with uncertainty and ambiguity. The future of education is going to be in the ability of our young people to handle ambiguity with ease and comfort. If we prepare young leaders who can see an opportunity in ambiguity, we will have done a satisfactory job.
 
My second reflection is that the education in our country is in urgent need of redefinition. The FLAME experiment in its true essence is aimed at looking at education differently. It’s not just about innovative courses and curriculum, nor is it just about pedagogical innovations. It is mainly about preparing young people to be critical thinkers, to be nimble and be flexible. The ultimate aim of any education should be its ability to produce the yogi and the acrobat together... An ideal combination!
My third reflection, chief guest sir, is Education today has become a rat race. Everyone, from the educators to the students, and from the parents to the corporates, wants to prepare youngsters for their first job. Everyone wants to be in the ranking game, and the culture of most institutions is to publish or perish. We need to re-examine these paradigms carefully.
Is there a contradiction between preparing students for their first job and preparing them for a fully human life? Apparently, not. But as you dig deeper, you will find contradictions that are hard to overcome
 
Let me state here the essential difference between Liberal Education as understood in the west and the Liberal Education our great sages and thinkers conceptualized during Takshashila and Nalanda. The Liberal Education of the West is embedded in Sympathy .A sympathy that helped one understand another person’s perspective and become inclusive. Liberal Education as the Indians understood it, was ensconced in the philosophy of “empathy,” that is, I become “that” person myself. For example, in the West, a Psychologist is expected to have the sympathy to understand what the Anthropologist is saying. In the Indian context, our great sages asked us to have the empathy to be that person for a few moments. So it isn’t standing aside and understanding what the other is saying, but it is actually stepping into that person’s shoes itself.
My fifth reflection is that The Indian Education system has been entrenched in the idea that secularism means not to talk about religion. I do not agree with this. I believe every religion must be spoken about freely. I believe that a Jain or a Hindu must understand Buddhism and Christianity as well. Liberal Education without a solid grounding in Ethics and Values will fail. I would urge the Board to reflect on this.
Most organizational structures of the west have collapsed every 30 to 40 years. India has a great tradition of systems and structures that have survived for thousands of years. The Discover India Program which I have personally designed and implemented at FLAME must focus on this.
Chief Guest Sir, Let me give you another perspective here.
Let us consider the analogy of the European meal. It is linear, structured, and bland and has an order. It is eaten with a fork and spoon, and a knife. Look at the American meal on the other hand. It’s a large buffet spread out with a number of dishes. You walk up to every counter, may be taste a dish a little and say, hmmm I like it …no no may be not this one..
On the other hand look at the Indian meal. It’s colorful. You eat with your hands. You decide with every morsel what you want it to taste. Ummm... a little spicy may be...sure! A little sweet on the next one? Sure! A little sour on the next morsel! Absolutely possible.
 
We blindly carried the colonial baggage and have made our education system like the soup-to-the-sweet-dish affair. How about liberating it and making it truly Indian? This in essence has been the driving force behind my philosophy of education at FLAME, something the great Architect and Philosopher Doshi introduced me to.

At FLAME, Chief Guest Sir, I have always urged the Academicians to have a relook at the way the Business Courses are designed in India. Making Marketing managers without any understanding of Culture, Psychology, Political Sciences and Statistics or preparing Finance Graduates without a solid grounding in Politics, Psychology, Economics, and Philosophy is the mistake we have made in the past. It is time education in the country is redefined. I have had a difficult time convincing academics that this is the need of the hour. We need to give young people another perspective, another way of looking at things, simply expand their canvas. Adding the component of creativity to their learning is extremely essential. Unfortunately, there is a false hierarchy that learning Theatre or Music or Dance is less important than learning Marketing or Finance or Literature. No they are as important.
Are we going to be just another institution that fosters engineers-turned-business students or are we going to first give our students a perspective and a deeper understanding of the area they wish to specialize in?
For the past seven years, it has been my privilege to be involved in almost every facet of establishing this Foundation. I woke up each morning with the intent of going the extra mile and pushing the limits when there were any setbacks. I always acted in the best interests of this Foundation. I earned myself the dubious reputation for mails sent at 3.00 am getting replies by 3.10 am!
 
Today I am engulfed in nostalgia and pride about the accomplishments that we, as a unique Liberal Education Foundation in India, have realized together in such little time. Some of these include our full time residential student body quickly swelling up to 450; attracting some of the country’s best educators to our faculty, almost 44 in number, most of them with international teaching experience, and receiving an A+ by the premium-grading agency Crisil, which is a testament of our academic integrity and stability. We have developed international exchange programs with many universities.
We have established the Centre for South Asia and Centre for Mathematical Modeling and Centre for Environmental Studies. We have conducted one International Conference with 350 distinguished Professors from the best universities including Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton etc.
 
To you my dear students and parents
Students take a breath and promise you one thing. Your responsibility to your family begins today. This minute onwards. You will enter the world of work. And you will get married. And you will have children. Your parents will now watch you grow into confident young men and women. But you owe it to them. You have a responsibility. They held you in their arms about 2 and half decades ago. No parent can forget the first time your fingers curled around theirs and you belonged to them.
They sacrificed for you. They provided you good education. They gave into every demand you made of them. They watched you grow. Lifted you when you fell. Took your tantrums. Shaped your character. But from today onwards, your roles are reversed. You are now the parents, and they are now your responsibility.
 
I remember, my father used to be a very successful doctor in a small town near Pune, called Daund. He would come to Pune to meet me and my family every Tuesday, his weekly off. One Tuesday evening he kept postponing his return. I was concerned that he would be driving late in the night. So I requested him to leave early. He felt hurt like a child admonished. That was the time I realized that I was now the father and he was now in my care. I indulged on him and fed him and took care of him after that. I would call him 2 times a day on trunk call. If I missed a call on a day, he would sulk and feel I don’t love him anymore.
You my dear students must understand that ignoring simple gestures like remembering your parents birthdays, calling them every morning before leaving for work, asking them a very simple question like “Are you ok Mom ?
Are you ok Dad?” and most importantly saying “I love you Dad and Mom” can be very painful for your parents. It is therefore incumbent on you to be sensitive human beings. Our first instinct of protection is always for our child, then the self. But now on your first instinct for protection should be reserved for your parents.
 
Our rich culture believes in taking care of our parents, not by money or comforts but by simple gestures like these. Please don’t forget the many sacrifices your father and mother have made for you. I would have failed in my duties as a Mentor if I have not given you this value.
You might find them “uncool,” sometimes even an embarrassment, but always let them know that you care. Ultimately in a family system, power shifts with age. You will have to accept your responsibility as a daughter and a son. This is the essence of this graduation ceremony. You are now not just responsible managers, you are now most importantly responsible sons and daughters.
To you dear parents, pause. You have pushed your child hard enough . It’s your time to congratulate them. You have no idea how much you mean to them. Often at my mentoring sessions, I have asked young students, what upsets them the most, pat comes the reply “when my Dad or Mom are upset or disappointed with me.” The worst mistake we parents make is to compare our child with the sibling or their friends. Your child is a unique piece of art created by God. Love him or her as that. Watch the wonders happen to them when you look at them that way
 
The other day, a student was caught smoking a cigarette outside the designated zone. I simply told the warden, call his father and tell him . The student was begging me not to tell his father. I asked him why, and he said, my father will be very sad. Please know, your child needs a reassuring pat on his back and today is that day when you must congratulate your son or daughter for their outstanding achievement.
But today is a day of celebration. Let the tears of joy roll down, let there be celebration and hugging .Tell your son or daughter how truly proud you are of them.
Most of you have been my students and I have had the privilege to teach you one course or another. It has been such a pleasure teaching you, mentoring you, pushing your limits. With many of you, you gave me the unique opportunity to know the deep fears and dark secrets you trusted me with. Helping you deal with the ghosts of your past helped me heal myself. I have been most fortunate to have taught you, mentored you. The many nights of long discussions in campus about life and religion and values, the many blushes and crushes you share with me are a treasure I will carry with me all my life.
To my Entrepreneurship students, you have given me so much joy and happiness in the classes. Pushing you , goading you , putting you through all the experiential learning, making you read books end to end, everything , and it was just sheer joy! The mother of all challenges was the Discover India Project. The jury was truly international. PG's are supposed to be "constipated"...they proved me totally wrong .! Both the groups did a fabulous job and were so immersed into the creation... I just cannot tell you how happy and proud I felt...I had goose bumps when I saw you present your work .. The jury was just too stunned! Thank you my class of 2009-11.
 
If God were to ask me, what I would like to be in my next birth, I would ask him to give me the same students, same faculty and the same love and warmth I have received from you. I am proud of you dear students.
However, the pride I have experienced has always been tempered with some sadness. It is always difficult to part ways with people with whom you have shared laughter and friendship, with students and faculty who trust you enough to let you into some deep secrets that have been a baggage they were too scared to share.
During our Foundation Day ceremony on 16th September 2007, I pledged to step down in four years. This pledge is the essence of one of our edicts, the value of humility. I take pride in giving up something I love so deeply and dearly. With you dear batch of 2011, I shall walk the talk too. I shall relinquish my post as Chairman with effect from 1t6h September 2011.
However, after I step down as Chairman, I will continue in my role as a Founder Director, and actively work with the Board to further Flame’s mission of offering our country a diversity of leadership.
 
With the support from Mr Nemish Shah, the members of the Board, the President, the Deans, the faculty and the staff, and several other people, I am quite humbled by what we have been able to accomplish together. It has been a very rewarding experience with very few regrets.
What do I say about the faculty? They have enriched me so much with their intellect that I take a bow to each one of you and salute your courage in trusting an experiment called FLAME when better opportunities beckoned. Thank you, Ladies and Gentleman. I shall be forever indebted to you.
To my staff, the Gardener, who stood up and said “Namaste” to me every morning, the security guards, the class room attendants, the doctor and his staff ,my personal staff, the catering staff , the housekeeping and the help desk staff, the transport staff , the drivers and the workers , everyone , each one of you treated me with great love and affection. I bow to you with respect and affection in my heart.
Nemishbhai, you have been the inspiration and the idea behind FLAME. I have always affirmed that you have been my friend, philosopher, and guide. “Thank you” would be too insignificant a word. But I bow to you in respect for trusting me. Thank you, Sir.
To Indira, who brought the femininity, perspective, and insights that have been invaluable to the whole campus? Thank you for supporting me in my good and bad days. As I hand over the mantle of this great institution in your accomplished hands, I wish you all the very best.
With each graduating class, both at the undergraduate and post-graduate levels, a wave of thought passes out into the world and alters it irreversibly. Each class brings it with their own unique set of experiences, memories, and dreams. But just as a species carries the same set of genetic markers regardless of any individual member’s particular quirks, so it is that each wave of FLAME graduates spreads a unifying notion of what constitutes excellent and sustainable practices into the world. I like to imagine a cascading series of ripples of positive energy gradually spreading out from where we sit today, slowly transforming the world with non-violent, innovative thought. If this Foundation can act as a center for better management, better business, and better organizational structure, it will have exceeded even my most optimistic hopes. In many ways, it was my responsibility to find this place; to create and nurture it. I hope it was a job well done! 
And now it is time for you, FLAME’s post-graduate class of 2011, to go and discover your responsibility to your family, to your community, and to the world. Before you walk off campus and into the rest of your lives, I will say this to you in parting. It is neither advice nor guidance: it is simply a truth that I hope each of you has the pleasure of discovering.

I have always believed that no idea is ever a repository of a single individual. It’s there in the cosmos, waiting to subsume a soul. I think the idea of Liberal Education subsumed me. It has infinite energy and power. As the dream subsumed me, it made me into a mercenary. I was obsessed, working hard at the peril of my own health, finance, family, and friends. But it was heady. As the dream began to actualize, more and more people joined the dream. But each individual has conscious and sub conscious motivations and their own baggage to carry. This starts impacting the dream but the dream is pure energy and human beings don’t have the power to alter it. So the dream escapes back into the cosmos. As I hand it over to you Nemishbhai and Indira, I hope you will hold the essence of its pure energy.

This speech would be incomplete if I did not thank my family. I would like to thank my Mother for always putting me ahead of herself, for always loving me unconditionally, my wife Meena for being my unconditional support system in the worst adversity, my daughter Pooja , who has looked at me and instinctively known what is happening to me. She is more my mother than my daughter. To my son, who has been the quiet pillar of strength and support in everything, to the new addition in my family Tina for being first my loving student and now a doting daughter-in-law , Kevin for his quite love and affection ,and my sisters Jyoti & Rajan for your courage and undying spirit, Udi and Ramesh for your love and support. Sadhana and Prakash for your devotion and faith.
In my experience, the most rewarding times in my life have come not because of a financial windfall or the acquisition of a material object, but rather from the understanding that I, personally, have had a direct positive effect on a fellow human being. As I stand here today, I look out on all of you and I am deeply moved by the thought that my actions, my vision, my dreams, have helped bring you closer to yours. You my dear students have touched me today.
 
My greatest accomplishment has been my parting. To be able to honor my word. To be able to have the love and blessings from all of you and being asked to stay. You have given me the greatest treasure of my life, my dear staff, students, parents, and faculty. Thank you for the love you have given me in the last few days.
 
Let me end my speech with a little poem I wrote on a wet pillow many days agoa when the Board accepted my decision to resign
Please take care of my child
When my mother came to drop me the first time to school
She told my teacher Mr. Musa this
I tell you Teachers and Students the same thing…
“Please take care of my child”
Some where my child has a little finger twisted
And its eyes look a little squinted.
But when you will look at it from “my” eyes, you will find my child beautiful.
Please take care of my child
I know my child has made many mistakes.
I know I have not been the best of mothers.
I know I could have been a better mother
But I beg you; please take care of my child.
 
When we would push the child to take its first step forward,
Everyone would clap in joy!
The Mood Indigo winners
The CFA winners
The Elite Leaders
The Entre students
The Mentees
The Council
The average kid who just broke the rule yesterday
They were all winners
Because they reminded me
I am their Father and I am their mother
Please take care of my child

What will the little bruised souls do when they need a healing touch?
What will these frayed nerves do when they get a scold from their parents?
Where will they seek flowers to put into the lake when their heart gets broken into pieces?
Let me remind you, my little one,
When you need me,
You will find me
Just round the corner
Watching you
Protecting you
Healing you
 
You don’t have to worry about the scary look of the Chairman anymore!
You will always see the Papa and the Teacher ready to clasp your hands
Tease you
Trouble you
Probe you
Embarrass you
But always, remember he will love you as ever.
Please take care of my little child

She may be a little dark
She may be not very popular
She may not be a winner yet
Yet in every student I meet, I see a winner
For my child is a winner
You are a winner
 
Before I die
Let me see in one of you a Prime Minister
A Nobel Laureate
An Olympic Champion
A NGO Leader
An Author
An Artist
A Musician
Everything you always wanted to be

Don’t break the spirit of Liberal Education
That is what will set this baby apart
Doesn’t matter how dark, squinted, and twisted my child is
It’s still my child, it’s still beautiful
Please take care of my child

As the little hand slips out of my hand, I know it’s in safe hands!

I salute you Batch of 2011. God Bless you.

UG Convocation Address 6th May 2011

All together now, my dear graduates, take in a slow, deep breath....and breathe out slowly. It is not over yet, but mere moments separate you from the finish line.

Graduation is one of life’s watershed experiences. It provides you the opportunity to reflect on the time you've spent in the school you're leaving, the events that have occurred while you studied here, and the people that have left an imprint on you in one way or another. You come to realize that you have deeper roots than you thought.

Chief Guest Sir,

I begin my speech with my reflections on the FLAME experiment and its role in the Education space.

My first reflection is that the goal of the current educational system is to reduce ambiguity. Somehow, I find that both, the students and their educators, are generally uncomfortable when faced with uncertainty and ambiguity. The future of education is going to be in the ability of our young people to handle ambiguity with ease and comfort. If we prepare young leaders who can see an opportunity in ambiguity, we will have done a satisfactory job.


My second reflection is that the education in our country is in urgent need of redefinition. The FLAME experiment in its true essence is aimed at looking at education differently. It’s not just about innovative courses and curriculum, nor is it just about pedagogical innovations. It is mainly about preparing young people to be critical thinkers, to be nimble and be flexible. The ultimate aim of any education should be its ability to produce the yogi and the acrobat together... An ideal combination!

My third reflection, chief guest Sir, is that Education today has become a rat race. Everyone, from the educators to the students, and from the parents to the corporates, wants to prepare youngsters for their first job. Everyone wants to be in the ranking game, and the culture of most institutions is to publish or perish. We need to re-examine these paradigms carefully.

Is there a contradiction between preparing students for their first job and preparing them for a fully human life? Apparently, not. But as you dig deeper, you will find contradictions that are hard to overcome


Let me state here the essential difference between Liberal Education as understood in the west and the Liberal Education our great sages and thinkers conceptualised during Takshashila and Nalanda. The Liberal Education of the West is embedded in Sympathy. A sympathy that helped one understands another person’s perspective and become inclusive. Liberal Education as the Indians understood it, was ensconced in the philosophy of “empathy”, that is, I become “that” person myself. For example, in the West, a Psychologist is expected to have the sympathy to understand what the Anthropologist is saying. In the Indian context, our great sages asked us to have the empathy to be that person for a few moments. So it isn’t standing aside and understanding what the other is saying, but it is actually stepping into that person’s shoes itself.

My fifth reflection is that The Indian Education system has been entrenched in the idea that secularism means not to talk about religion. I do not agree with this. I believe every religion must be spoken about freely. I believe that a Jain or a Hindu must understand Buddhism and Christianity as well. Liberal Education without a solid grounding in Ethics and Values will fail. I would urge the Board to reflect on this.


Most organisational structures of the west have collapsed every 30 to 40 years. India has a great tradition of systems and structures that have survived for thousands of years. The Discover India Program at FLAME must focus on this.

Chief Guest Sir, Let me give you another perspective here.

Let us consider the analogy of the European meal. It is linear, structured, and bland and has an order. It is eaten with a fork and spoon, and a knife. Look at the American meal on the other hand. It’s a large buffet spread out with a number of dishes. You walk up to every counter, may be taste a dish a little and say, hmmm I like it or taste another and…no no may be not this one..

On the other hand look at the Indian meal. It’s colourful. You eat with your hands. You decide with every morsel what you want it to taste. Ummm... a little spicy may be...sure! A little sweet on the next one? Sure! A little sour on the next morsel! Absolutely possible.

We blindly carried the colonial baggage and have made our education system like the soup-to-the-sweet-dish affair. How about liberating it and making it truly Indian? This in essence has been the driving force behind my philosophy of education at FLAME, something the great Architect and Philosopher Doshi introduced me to.

I believe that at FLAME we have done this partially. We have a long way to go but we have the ability and a unique opportunity to redefine the paradigms of education

For the past seven years, it has been my privilege to be involved in almost every facet of establishing this Foundation. I woke up each morning with the intent of going the extra mile and pushing the limits when there were any setbacks. I always acted in the best interests of this Foundation. I earned myself the dubious reputation for mails sent at 3.00 am getting replies by 3.10 am!

To you my dear students and parents

You have been even bigger institution builders than any of us have been dear batch of 2011. You came to FLAME in 2007 with a lot of hopes and expectations. Your hopes were quickly converted to despair, because you felt that nothing was there... not anything at all!

But you trusted me blindly. I do know that it needed a lot of courage and faith for you to invest 4 years of your life with us. It meant giving up a lot of traditional comforts that you were used. A bike or a car. A servant and an air-conditioned room. Junk food and dance floors. Sharing your room with 15 others!


There was uncertainty and ambiguity everywhere! You also learnt how to encash it by the way! But you trusted me blindly. Parents used to come to see you and feel terrible seeing the conditions you were living in, but you reassured them that it’s going to be fine! Who could have been a better optimist than this batch of 2011? But you proved it young men and women. You proved that you can make an institution yourself, for you stood by us through thick and thin.

I have been fortunate to develop close relationships with all of you. Consequently, each time you have affectionately called me ‘Pappa’ or “Santa”, it made my heart sing with joy and gratitude.

And as the time for our parting came near, whilst you were busy celebrating your graduation with your pool parties, I started to review some of the work you had done. From your Discover India Projects, to presentation of papers in the recently held international conference at FLAME, from the Monographs you wrote, to the fierce competition you gave to your Postgraduate batches.

The graduation films I saw that some of you made. Whoof, what an amazing change! Parents, who had given up on their children, were actually respecting their sons and daughters! The other day I saw a father weeps inconsolably after seeing his son’s film! You have surpassed all our expectations. You still do not know how good you are.
And thank god for that!

Please realise that once you go back into the real world, you will quickly realize how much better you are than your counter parts. But if you don’t keep pace, you will quickly vanish in to ordinariness. So keep pushing yourself, and don’t ever give in to mediocrity.

But today, dear batch of 2011, from the bottom of my heart I want to thank you for making the FLAME experiment stand up on its feet and I want everyone here, from the faculty to the staff, the Board to the Parents to give you a big round of applause for your contribution in creating this great new idea called FLAME. You my friends have created a truly national benchmark of what an undergraduate can do. Once you are out there and people begin to see the difference, the gospel of FLAME will spread like wildfire. I bow to you my batch of 2011.

As the Founder Chairman of this Foundation, it has been my privilege and honour to address each graduating class since our inception. Each graduation ceremony has evoked mixed emotions for me.

There has been a sense of pride in seeing each individual student, having helped each to get in touch with who they are, and having enhanced their ability to complete their personal jigsaw puzzle and see themselves more clearly.


With many I have witnessed insecurities blossom into self-confidence, fragility transform into solidity, tentativeness into surety of purpose, from being self-absorbed to warm and highly sensitive human beings.

In many ways, everyone here has touched me deeply and I am sure we have all earned a little space in your hearts!

But this year’s convocation evokes entirely new emotions since it is the last one in which I am participating as Chairman.

During our Foundation Day ceremony on 16th September 2007, I pledged to step down in four years. This pledge is the essence of one of our edicts, the value of humility. I take pride in giving up something I love so deeply and dearly. With you dear batch of 2011, I shall walk the talk too. I shall relinquish my post as Chairman with effect from 16th September 2011.

However, after I step down as Chairman, I will continue in my role as a Founder Director, and actively work with the Board to further Flame’s mission of offering our country a diversity of leadership.


Today I am engulfed in nostalgia and pride about the accomplishments that we, as a unique Liberal Education Foundation in India, have realized together in such little time. Some of these include our full time residential student body quickly swelling up to 450; attracting some of the country’s best educators to our faculty, almost 44 in number, most of them with international teaching experience, and receiving an A+ by the premium-grading agency Crisil, which is a testament of our academic integrity and stability. We have developed international exchange programs with many universities.

We have established the Centre for South Asia, the Centre for Mathematical Modelling and the Centre for Environmental Studies. We have conducted one International Conference with 350 distinguished Professors from the best universities including Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, etc. Harvard offers 36 Majors Chief Guest sir, we offer 24!

Our students have won several national awards. One of our Scholarship students has earned a 100% scholarship in Japan for pursuing her MBA. The list of accomplishments for a 3 ½ year period is very long but I am restricting myself to just a few.


I have just one small request to the distinguished faculty here; being a member of a Liberal Arts faculty has to be a 24-hour engagement. Whilst research is the cornerstone of every great Foundation, Flame’s commitment to the Guru-Shishya ethos creates a special responsibility for all of us Teachers. We must commit ourselves to a more active engagement with the students outside our classrooms.

The Indian youth today does not look for freedom. In fact they have more than they want! But what the youth mostly looks towards us for is direction. We are not so much in the business of education as we are in the business of shaping character. I would therefore urge the entire distinguished faculty and this august Board here to reflect upon, how we are going to engage ourselves more actively in the revival of the Guru-Shishya ethos. Somewhere I feel we could have done better on that front.

I believe that the undergraduates at FLAME are special in one distinct way. They are now empowered to handle the ambiguity and the multiplicity of a fast changing world better than any other educational system in the country.

I congratulate you my dear faculty for having empowered our students to do that.


The Discover India Program, the Elite Leadership Program, the NGO Internship, the ELRI Labs are all a testimony of this. The students come back, transformed and mature, sensitive yet retaining the researcher’s impassionate observation of the social milieu we live in.

I would also like to thank Shri Shivajirao Kadam, Vice Chancellor of Bharatiya Vidya Peeth, Shri M S Jadhav and all the other staff of the Bharatiya Vidyapeeth University for their support. As I woke up this morning with a tinge of sadness, I only asked myself three questions
“Was I selfless?
Did I do my best?
Do I have any regrets?”


The answers to me were obvious. I have been selfless almost to a fault. I have worked day and night, without any respite.

As I touched my mother’s feet this morning, seeking her blessings I asked her, did I do my best?
She said Son you did your best.

Do I have any regrets?
Perhaps a few.

Maybe I should have done this thing a little better and that thing a little carefully. When I worked for the earthquake, I was actually dousing a fire elsewhere. So some regrets will always be there. But I walk away with pride. And you my dear faculty and students are the source of this pride. FLAME is like my own child. May be one finger is twisted a bit, maybe it’s a bit cockeyed, but yet it’s my child and I just love my child, just like all you parents do!

With the support from Mr Nemish Shah, the members of the Board, the President, the Deans, the faculty and the staff, and several other people, I am quite humbled by what we have been able to accomplish together. It has been a very rewarding experience with very few regrets.

What do I say about the faculty? They have enriched me so much with their intellect that I take a bow to each one of you and salute your courage in trusting an experiment called FLAME when better opportunities beckoned. Thank you, Ladies and Gentleman. I shall be forever indebted to you.

To my staff, the Gardener, who stood up and said “Namaste” to me every morning, the security guards, the class room attendants, the doctor and his staff, my personal staff, the catering staff, the housekeeping and the help desk staff, the transport staff, the drivers and the workers, everyone, each one of you treated me with great love and affection. I bow to you with respect and affection in my heart.

Nemishbhai, you have been the inspiration and the idea behind FLAME. I have always affirmed that you have been my friend, philosopher and guide. “Thank you” would be too insignificant a word. But I bow to you in respect for trusting me. Thank you, Sir.

To Indira, who brought the femininity, perspective and insights that have been invaluable to the whole campus? Thank you for supporting me in my good and bad days. As I hand over the mantle of this great institution into your accomplished hands, I wish you all the very best.

I have always believed that no idea is ever a repository of a single individual. It’s there in the cosmos, waiting to subsume a soul. I think the idea of Liberal Education subsumed me. It has infinite energy and power. As the dream subsumed me, it made me into a mercenary. I was obsessed, working hard at the peril of my own health, finance, family and friends. But it was heady. As the dream began to actualize, more and more people joined the dream. But each individual has conscious and sub-conscious motivations and their own baggage to carry. This starts impacting the dream but the dream is pure energy and human beings don’t have the power to alter it. So the dream escapes back into the cosmos. As I hand it over to you Nemishbhai and Indira, I hope you will hold the essence of its pure energy.

People touch the lives of many they encounter without ever realizing the effect they have. In their own simple way, they can restore your faith in humanity. I am fortunate that I have met many such people over the last seven years.

My dear graduates, as for you, you will soon leave this Foundation having gained many abilities and critical thinking skills that are essential for a better life for yourselves. However, as important as the insights you have gained here are, your future happiness will greatly depend on how aware you are, the courage you show to be honest to yourself, and your perseverance through life’s trials and tribulations.

When you trust and act on your intuition, you increase your self-esteem, build trust in yourself, and experience a profound sense of security that no relationship or amount of money will ever give you. Don’t concern yourselves too much about how quickly you reach your destination, but appreciate and learn from everything while you travel to your destination.

It also takes courage to be who you truly are, to stand up for what you believe in, and to follow your dreams amidst a sea of possible naysayers, who might label you as a dreamer and say you’ll never make it. Do not forget that this Foundation was spawned from a dream and had a lot of naysayers too.

Today is, of course, a day of great celebration. It is a culmination of a lot of hard work and sacrifices, not only from yourself, but also from your cherished families and, perhaps, from some supportive friends. I am sure that your loved ones are extremely proud of your accomplishment.

In preparation for this ceremony, many parents here today have probably pondered about how quickly time has passed. To them it mustn’t seem so long ago when they held you in their arms for the first time. This was followed by the very special moment when you first curled your tiny fingers around their finger and held on so tight, that they really knew that you had their heart and would always have it.

The greatest aspiration any child has is to win accolades from his or her Parents. My father died before he could see me succeed. I ask each one of you parents, not to make the mistake of not telling your child that you do love them and that you are proud of your son or daughter.

Today is the day dear parents. Put your arms around your child and look into their eyes with pride and tell them that you are proud of them. A little smile and a little tear drop will be a memory no money or success can replace.

To you students, let me tell you, just as you yearn for that one word of appreciation from your parents, you would be surprised to know, how much your parents want to hear you say that they were good parents too!


So do walk up to them and say “Mom, Dad, thank you for being such wonderful parents!” let the tears of joy, happiness, and pride roll...

And now you proud parents, when you shake those grown-up hands and congratulate your children, please do be secure in the knowledge of a job well done in raising them. You have made it possible for your children to have a bright future. Now is the time to trust your children and allow them the independence to fulfill their own destiny.

And, finally, to the graduates of the class of 2011, I offer my sincerest congratulations for challenges met, for the milestones crossed and sometimes even surpassed. As you walk out through these doors today, I hope you will realize your true potential, but the future belongs to only those that will hold on to their values and take pride in their roots. FLAME has hopefully helped you to discover your identity and the unlimited possibilities before you.


This speech would be incomplete if I did not thank my family. I would like to thank my Mother for always putting me ahead of herself, for always loving me unconditionally, my wife Meena for being my unconditional support system in the worst adversity, my daughter Pooja, who has looked at me and instinctively known what is happening to me. She is more my mother than my daughter. To my son, who has been the quiet pillar of strength and support in everything, to the new addition in my family, Tina, for being first my loving student and now a doting daughter-in-law, Kevin for his quite love and affection, and my sisters Jyoti & Rajan for your courage and undying spirit, Udi and Ramesh for your love and support, Sadhana and Prakash for your devotion and faith.

Graduating Batch, may you approach life with honesty, integrity, hard work and a humble demeanour that will hide the giant within all of you. Class of 2011, I salute you!

Let me end this with a poem I wrote on a wet pillow many nights ago, when the Board graciously accepted my decision to retire. This is a poem I wrote on behalf of both, myself and the Graduating class of 2011.


Please take care of my child
When my mother came to drop me the first time to school
She told my teacher Mr. Musa this

I tell you Teachers and Students the same thing…
“Please take care of my child”

Some where my child has a little finger twisted
And its eyes look a little squinted.
But when you will look at it from “my” eyes, you will find my child beautiful.
Please take care of my child

I know my child has made many mistakes.
I know I have not been the best of mothers.
I know I could have been a better mother
But I beg you; please take care of my child.


When we would push the child to take its first step forward,
Everyone would clap in joy!
The Mood Indigo winners
The CFA winners
The Elite Leaders
The Entre students
The ELRI students
The Mentees
The Council
The average kid who just broke the rule yesterday
They were all winners
Because they reminded me
I am their Father and I am their mother
Please take care of my child

What will the little bruised souls do when they need a healing touch?
What will these frayed nerves do when they get a scold from their parents?
Where will they seek flowers to put into the lake when their heart gets broken into pieces?


Let me remind you, my little one,
When you need me,
You will find me
Just round the corner
Watching you
Protecting you
Healing you

You don’t have to worry about the scary look of the Chairman anymore!
You will always see the Papa and the Teacher ready to clasp your hands
Tease you
Trouble you
Probe you
Embarrass you
But always, remember he will love you as ever.
Please take care of my little child

She may be a little dark
She may be not very popular
She may not be a winner yet
Yet in every student I meet, I see a winner
For my child is a winner
You are a winner


Before I die
Let me see in one of you a Prime Minister
A Nobel Laureate
An Olympic Champion
A NGO Leader
An Author
An Artist
A Musician
Everything you always wanted to be

Don’t break the spirit of Liberal Education
That is what will set this baby apart
Doesn’t matter how dark, squinted and twisted my child is
It’s still my child, it’s still beautiful
Please take care of my child

As the little hand slips out of my hand, I know it’s in safe hands!

Thank you and God Bless you All.

What did the four years at FLAME teach you ?

What did the Four years at FLAME teach me? This is not for the students to answer...Its for the Teachers to answer.. Students are oft asked this question...especially when they are passing out.. Maybe its time for the Teachers and the Founders to ask themselves this question "What did the 4 years teach you ..?"

So let me reflect .. I learnt that young people have a mind of their own!.. I learnt that just because they are your students , they will not respect you. They may be afraid of you. They may not say anything to something they disagree with. But a 17 year old, with so much happening in his or her brain, is not going to listen you, because you are their Teacher or they are your students. They will first ignore you, then ridicule you and maybe...just maybe if you are lucky they will begin to see you a little differently. Most of their issues are not with you the person.. they feel they owe it to the world , to change it ! And the lesson for all of us is to let them think that way.. we should never prevent them from dreaming and questioning and believing that they can change the world... We are a bunch of cynics who could not change the world much anyway.. what makes us think that they cannot.. let them at least try! Let them at least fall ...and get up again and fall again... Let us not be shepherds who are trying to keep students in line...let them explore and find out.. Kabeer, Namrata, Harsh, Phuntsong, Richa, Aarti, Gopi , and Salomi..this ones from you!

I also learnt that they actually listen to you but don't want to admit they are listening to you! I wonder why ! I never thought they ever listened, but they often have surprised me with something I said even 3 years before! So don't ever think they are not listening.. I think their conscious mind is fighting for them...telling them don't listen to these adults, they will start controlling your freaking lives! so ignore, fight, argue but don't fall in line! But all these are speculations! Only speculations! I have no idea why they do that! Urvi, Vanessa, Aditya, Samar , Avi , Sushant , Samrit , Himay , Akshay, Jitu ,

Vidhi, Vishwa, Vishesh and Yashwant, Nishant ...I learnt this from you..!!

The third lesson I learnt, and mind you this is the most important lesson.. They have a MOB MENTALITY AT ITS WORSE! You talk to each one of them as an individual, they would be the most loving , caring and obedient kids...but the minute you herd them together and treat them like a mob...they will come at you like a ton of bricks!!!! So first establish a personal rapport with each one of them , treat them as special people with special needs.. care for them , look after them...indulge in them once in a while and they will be your best friends.. but only when they are alone..never ever let them become a Mob....!!! Thats a secret worth sharing! Pranav, Husein , Nayantara, Dharmi, Gaya, Karishma, Niyomi and each one of you FSLE guys!

The fourth lesson is they become Adults overnight!!... you give up on them, you feel they are beyond repair.. they will never ever change, they are losers, they surprise you with their maturity.. I dont know whats it about these kids.. they just become adults overnight! Gayatri, Sonali, Rashi, Ami, Ashish, Hemlata , Agam, Aalisha I learnt this from you...

The Fifth Lesson is, they are out there to surprise you everyday ! Every Day! I cant imagine the discussions amongst the Faculty, you mean so and so did this ? you mean so and so wrote this assignment ? You mean he made this film ? You mean he came drunk ? You mean she brought alcohol bottles to campus...from the profane to the stupidest things, from the unhealthy to the most creative lies , from the obscene to the most serene things they will do and surprise you with it every day ! They really do surprise you every day ! Anurag, Atisha, Eritu, Vishwa,Hardik Hemakshi ,Imli, Kavita-s (KAvita number 2 - did you really have a boy friend at NDA?) ,Madhavi, Malay , Malavika, Mritikka,Nandi , Parmarth,Vidhi , Ria, Ujjwal and Urvi Palwankar..

Now if I have missed some names here.. it means they have done all of the above... If I have put your names twice, it only means you came into the radar too often!

Having said all this.. I must say , I am not going to say Good Bye to you guys.. FOR YOU WILL NEVER EVER STOP SURPRISING US !!

LOVE YOU!

PARAG SIR